Free to Be Me

For many years I was never comfortable in my own skin. Too black for white kids, too white for black. I spent several years trying to find my place. No one person could ever understand the pain of rejection, the shame, the loneliness that I hid behind my smile. I suffered many years in silence from the guilt and shame of childhood molestation. Of which I clung to; it was the one thing in my life that even looked like acceptance. I didn't even categorize it as abuse until later on in my life when my healing process began.

However, today is a different day! I thank God for the freedom to be able to be comfortable with the image staring back at me in the mirror. Christ is the only one who understands the years of rejection, hurt, and abuse. It is through Him, that I now understand that True Beauty is way more than skin deep. It's a heart thing. A heart at rest is the most beautiful thing a person could ever have. No more striving or people pleasing! I am now living life on purpose, I am now free!

To this day I am still asked the dreaded question, "Where are you from?" in other words, WHAT ARE YOU??!!! Now I can truly smile and graciously respond that I am Jackie from a small town called Madison, NC. I am mixed/bi-racial/a half-breed. My Dad is black, my Mom is white, and I am beautiful, Beautifully Me.